“I’m just trying to figure out how to function in this chaos,” she says. Her heart sinks; she feels like she is admitting she is weak. Why did I say that? She feels like she has made a mistake when showing her vulnerability. Holly is a journalist, best known for her groundwork, going from place to place wherever chaos strikes. She is one of the few successful women in her mainly male-dominated field. Over her years, she has had to prove herself to thousands when rising through a demanding industry. She connects with those in the chaos, allowing them to tell their stories. She has learned to avoid any mistakes to receive the same respect. As she watches the interview back, she becomes anxious that this will affect how her colleagues see her. She had become an inspiration to many—not someone who has to still figure things out.

Ding—ding—ding. Her phone chimes message after message and is being shared and commented on by her colleagues. As she reads them, most are what she expected: “Covering chaos isn’t for everyone. Maybe stick to the lighter subjects.” She’s heard this all before: “Go back to your local news.” She puts down her phone; seeing the comments makes everything worse. Another ding—as she feels anxiety wash over her. It’s an email from her boss requesting a meeting. This causes a more anxious spiral in her: Why does he need to see me?

She walks into the newsroom, passing leftover coffee and bagels in the breakroom. The ringing of phones going off behind her, scrambling of her colleagues, with those giving glances when she walks by. She checks her watch: 10:50, ten minutes until her meeting. She walks near his office at five minutes till, knocking on the door and heads in.

“Now is no time for mistakes,” she thinks as he welcomes her in, gesturing for her to have a seat. “Look, about the interview—it wasn’t a disaster, but your word choices could have been better. The company takes pride in their employees’ work, and we can’t have reporters who our viewers can’t trust.” She listens to the criticism, struggling to come up with a response. “While I’m not going to punish you for what you say, I need to make sure you can handle this and understand the criticism.” She tries to speak, but her words don’t want to come out. Finally she replies, “I don’t wish to fail, but the interview has made me realize the amount of effort I give to receive the same respect as any other employee. He responds, “I understand that this business is rough, but learning to balance it and focus on telling the stories that matter comes first. This is a line of work that many won’t do. With it comes chaos, and you must learn how to control it.”

Before she leaves, he hands her her next assignment. She gives him a nod as her mind clears, rushing to her new project. In her head, going over those thoughts she once had, realizing what it takes to navigate them. She sits at her desk, reading the file for her next assignment: a story about those working behind the scenes unseen by many. Realizing why he chose this assignment for her, giving voice to the voiceless. As she recognizes the meaning of her work, she gathers her supplies and heads out. Finally able to control the chaos.