I’m just trying to figure out how to function in this chaos.
How to function while I am the axis of the earth,
Watching all inhabitants rotate around me.
Around,
Around,
Around.
Again,
Again,
Again.
A mass of screaming color
As I stand a stiff grayscale.
I’m just trying to figure out how to function in this chaos,
As I struggle against weightlessness,
Against falling into orbit among the stars,
While my dazed body
Remains feet planted
Solid,
Solid,
Solid,
On the ground.
I’m just trying to figure out how to function in this chaos,
How to dodge
The fiery, burning meteors,
Asteroids,
Comets.
My mind is dizzy
From twisting
And turning
And avoiding
And focusing
And trying,
Trying so hard.
To do All
At once.
And maybe also
From lack of oxygen.
From the strain
Of trying to breathe,
Of trying to force my lungs to expand
When they are so opposed to the idea.
I did not know it would all be so hard.
November 5, 2024 at 8:32 am
I like the use of repetition and imagery that make this poem come to life.
November 5, 2024 at 11:41 am
I really like how well you showed instead of told. The whole poem was analogies for not being able to fit despite trying very hard. I like space anyways so I am a little biased towards liking the analogies but overall I really like it!
November 5, 2024 at 11:45 am
I really like your use of repetition in the first and second stanzas. They really help enunciate the mental image of spinning and how repetitive the blur of colors is when you spin fast enough. Your decision to personify the lungs in the last stanza was also an excellent one. It communicates the feeling of a loss of control, like the things that are supposed to be working for you are actively working against you.