A Break of the Circle
“You’re going to need these. You know you will.” Said the figure, who I’d have not given any second thought about the day before. His presence is so big and yet to others, trivial. Even I had underestimated the significance of his societal dynamics. After yesterday, my perception has changed; furthermore, the experience allowed me to reach my true potential. I swallowed, feeling the dryness grab my throat before nodding and taking his offer. Then, with a clear mind, I walked into the reviving light for another opportunity of transcendence.
Dark gray clouds engulfed the skies from my apartment window, isolating the mundanity of Monday’s horrid grasp. Having to wake up, I looked around my barren room in anguish: not only because of the continuity of employment, but because I had to do so at such an early time. I had been reminded, once again, that I chose this path and there was nothing I could do to change it. Before getting out of bed, I grabbed my phone and scrolled through social media. The screen gave joyous colors that filled the room yet were desensitizing. This enticing offer made me lose track of time, to which I had now been late in my habituated, well-hygienic routine. I ate some cereal, grabbed my uniform out of the hamper, and headed to work.
Walking through the cold and polluted city, my route always has me encountering a synagogue with a man standing outside wearing a white/blue-striped robe and cap with no brim holding some book that says the words, “TORAH.” I have never bothered to learn the names of such items, as it had no relation to my ideals. Although, a lingering thought stays in my mind. Why do people follow religion? After a while, I made my way into the local dim-lit coffee shop to start my nine-to-five grind.
Within this social setting, my co-workers welcomed me with open arms. “ Late again I see,” said Vergüenza. She has been one of the better co-workers in my days. Being from Mexico (same as me) we understood the struggles of life.
“ El afán de ser rico no vale la pena, aunque la belleza toma un esfuerzo. ” I stated while gesturing at my body with a shimmering smile as we laughed. Of course none of my other co-workers knew what we were even saying, but it didn’t matter.
After my shift, it was lightly snowing, and I had to hurry before it was supposed to get worse. A weather alert on my phone stated, “ WINTER STORM WARNING IN EFFECT,” and that put me at an uneasy pace. While walking, a homeless man with a scraggly beard in a dirty blanket caught me by surprise, “You’re gonna need th-” and before I knew it, a black ice patch swept me off my feet head first into the ground.
When I woke up, the area around me was warm with a feeling of serenity. Trees, berry bushes, streams, and a blue sky all caught my eye. A sense of time was non-existent. It felt at a standstill. Moments later, a figure that looked strangely similar to the homeless man came walking towards me. With each step he took, the more my body felt at ease. There was a glow about him that everything around became brighter. Finally, he took his final step and put his hand on my shoulder.
“Do you know where you are?”
“Heaven?” I questioned.
“No. We are in your heaven.”
“What do you mean?”
“This is the place you think of the most when you want to be at peace– to be free. Each person has their own idea of heaven or afterworld, and with that comes different religions. None are wrong, but it is a unique experience per-person. It is the comfort that resides in your soul, a humanistic quality if you will. Take a look at some familiar faces’ ideas of heaven.” He opens multiple golden portals that show the Jewish minister reunited with his daughter , Vergüenza surfing at a beach, and finally my father. My father’s idea was different though. It seemed like it was him hugging a man who looked similar to me. It was me.
“You matter a great deal more than you think.” The glowing figure stated. “ Now do you see? Everyone has their own interests, ideas, and sparks that make them unique. But yet, you are limiting yourself, you know.”
“ Limiting myself?”
“ Because you haven’t been living life the way you want to, a grip of the modern world has consumed your creativity, desensitized you, and restricted your true potential. Your heaven is achievable, but why stay in the life you have created?”
I paused and thought long and hard before creating a response. “ I guess I’ve lost touch with my individuality.” At this moment it all hit me. I had been so caught up in my work that I had forgotten the fun in life. The world around me felt so bland, but nothing was stopping me from achieving such an enjoyable life.
“You’re in critical condition too. Currently you’re in the hospital and it’s up for you to decide if you make it out of this or not. You can either stay in this place or change what life you led.”
“ I want to change it. I want to make myself better before I return.”
“ Then before doing so let me say these three things: you matter. I put you on this earth for a reason, just like every other person that is in that world. Secondly, whenever you stray off of your desired path, think of the reason you were doing it in the first place. Lastly, remember that I will be watching over you, always. Call me what you’d like, but I will watch over every one of my flowers.”
“Thank you for everything.”The figure started to walk back from where he came to tend to his garden. I started to wonder how I should be getting back, but then suddenly he turned around and gestured his hand to follow. Finally catching up, he reminded me of the three things he’d said to me one last time.