“There ain’t no sky today. I suppose that would be your fault.” The old man stared up into the infinite, flat gray sheet above him. Cold rock bent the wind into howling waves, ruffling his thinning hair and prickling his skin. He knelt down, slowly and carefully, and rubbed his hand along the ground. “The time has not been kind to us, old friend.”
He closed his eyes, and took a deep, crackling breath. The stench of sulfur made him wrinkle his nose. He looked over his shoulder at the peak behind him. A plume of smoke trailed into the sky, like the steaming breath of some stirring creature. “Not much time left. I’m sorry we couldn’t spend more time together.” A low rumble shook the stone around him, as if responding wearily, and flakes of ash began settling on his worn clothing. He would not leave his home, not even in its death.
February 24, 2025 at 8:36 am
The imagery is so vivid! Excellent work, Jaz!
February 24, 2025 at 8:37 am
I like how the story is short and simple but has a deeper meaning in the end. Plus, the description of the sky and what I would assume is a bomb of some sort going across the sky.
February 24, 2025 at 8:40 am
This was really short, but powerful. I’m not sure the short length was intentional, but regardless of whether it was or wasn’t, I think that great writing can convey huge impacts in less words. I love the descriptions you used to capture the moment and it felt as if I could feel the “stench of sulfur” and the “low rumble” of the earth. Great job!:)
February 24, 2025 at 12:08 pm
I like the amount of detail you used to describe every scene. this really makes me feel like a part of the story.