“I’m just trying to figure out how to function in this chaos, okay?!” Alia frantically shouted over the cacophony of blaring alarms as she painstakingly tried to fuse a pair of frayed red and blue wires together.
“Well, function faster! We’re about to drop out of hyperspace, and who knows where that’ll put us?!” Lucas snapped back before returning to the feverish pressing of buttons and typing on the dashboard at the front of the ship.
Numerous flickering monitors on the walls displayed a myriad of ship parts and power supplies in critical condition and getting worse with every second that passed.
The ship shook violently, tossing the crew around as they rushed around the deck. Alia suddenly slammed the breaker door shut with a satisfied “Hah!” just before the ship abruptly slowed, lurching everyone towards the bow.
Lucas was the first to regain his footing, pushing himself up with the dashboard. He took one look out the windshield and muttered an obscenity under his breath.
“Oh, don’t tell me…” Nihm grumbled as they rose from the floor, nursing a bruised elbow.
“Hey, at least I got the navigator back online!” Alia exclaimed cheerfully.
But, as her eyes scanned across the navigator’s screen, her hopeful face fell.
“…the bad news is it has no idea where we are.”
A deafening silence fell across the hull. Lucas swore he could hear everyone else’s hearts skip a beat as they all realized the reality of the situation.
“…We’re in completely uncharted territory. No one knows where we are — not even us.”
November 5, 2024 at 11:57 am
I love how you subvert the reader’s expectations right at the end of the snippet. It seems like the characters miraculously saved themself at the last moment, only for them to realize that they’re completely lost. I thought it was a fun twist.
November 8, 2024 at 8:18 am
I love how you gave the reader hope, just to take it away and bring us back the emotions at the beginning of the story. I also enjoyed how it is short, but shows us exactly what is going on and what its about.