“I thought I could make it. I really thought I could make it.” I kept uttering under my breath as tears streamed down my cheeks. I could barely keep my eyes open as I scanned the room for an exit, any sign of hope. As I pressed myself up against a wall, I found it increasingly hard to breathe or even concentrate from the lack of oxygen going to my brain, and my right thigh had a severe bite wound from “it”. Ever since the world fell apart into despair, you’d expect nothing to ever work out in your favor, and yes, tragedy has occurred, but I’ve somehow managed to stay alive and I’ve gotten pretty far until now. I finally reached my limit.
“SARAH!” A loud, ear splitting bang echoed throughout the room from the barricaded door beside me. I knew it wouldn’t budge. The bangs grew louder and began to quicken, almost resembling a heartbeat or maybe the drums of death awaiting me. Until a familiar voice rang in my ears, pleading, “Sarah, please, you have to get up Sarah. I can’t lose you too…” Suddenly, a strange sensation began to spread throughout my entire body, almost a tingling feeling, it felt warm and sort of nice. It consumed my spiraling mind, turning them into quiet whispers. As I barely managed to get my eyes open, they searched for the source of that distinct voice. It was my younger brother, Caleb.
All of a sudden, memories began to swallow me whole, as I remembered and re-lived every single moment, every laugh, every tear, every moment, everything. I relived every moment of my flawed life in just a few seconds, and suddenly it seemed beautiful, maybe even perfect. As I layed there motionless, my little brother was on the other side of the door, standing there just watching my immobile body. For some reason, this sensation didn’t just feel nice, it felt amazing. I gave a weak chuckle as I stared towards his direction, clutching my injuries. My raspy voice barely escaped my lips.
“Caleb.” I gave him a sweet smile as I hesitantly revealed my wounded thigh for him to see the grotesque infected bite mark. I saw his face contort into a display of horror, witnessing his own sister’s tragic end. “It got me Caleb, I can already feel the infection spreading throughout my body, I need you to go.” I could see his mind spiraling, as he fought between what to do. I felt overwhelmed with worry as I realized this would be my last time seeing him, he’d be on his own, MY brother, my own silly, stupid, innocent brother who always relied on me, who always needed advice on every simple thing or a direction to follow. Now he was on his own, and he knew that. I gave him a nod of reassurance, like I always did when he needed comfort. “Go.” A loud thud shook the room, bits and pieces of the ceiling fell, the sound came from where I entered. It was coming. “Go, I can buy you time!” With much hesitation, Caleb realized this was my last moment to protect him like I always did, and since his birth that was what my plan was, to always put him first. With a nod back to me, tears were pouring down his cheeks, emotions swept over him. He gave me one last prolonged look to hold in his memories, and to never forget me, then he disappeared.
For the first time in 18 years, I was alone. Before everything fell apart, Caleb was born. I knew right away that it was my responsibility to take care of him, because no one else was there to take care of us. I was scared, not of death, but of doubt, doubt that he’d make it, or if he’d end up stretched out like me, in a dreadful death. As I remembered the last emotion on his face, how his eyes widened, and his lips curved and quivered, his eyes red from crying, fear captured his entire face. He didn’t want to leave, he was scared of what he’d do or where’d he go, all I could do was hope he’d survive.
In my last moments, I felt the thudding getting closer. I reached with my last bit of strength into my pack for a hand grenade I got back in fall from some town in Massachusetts from a settlement of traders. As I fidgeted to release the grenade, I let out one long lasting breath, “I lived a pretty good life huh?” As I said this, the deformed, man-eating monster appeared and stumbled and squirmed towards me. It was disgusting, it was such a lifeless creature. I pulled out the pin from the hand grenade, and threw it with as much control as I had, as the infection was spreading and taking authority. “Live a long life, Caleb”, I say as I squeezed my eyes shut. Relief consuming my mind, so many feelings and emotions being drowned out all at once by the cool drench of death, silence.