“I thought I could make it. I really thought I could make it.”. These were the words muttered by the patient before overhearing their diagnoses by a nurse. They were going to undergo a surgery tomorrow to try and re-vitalize the mucus layer within their intestines, after starting to bleed out their colon, which made them bedridden for the past two weeks. They got up and started walking to their car, before just sighing and looking out at the bright noon. It was mocking them. Strolling outside, starting the car, and driving back home. Crashing down on their old couch, they stared at the ceiling. They had to wait for the failed surgery and their inevitable death tomorrow. Just Waiting.

They waited.

It was 3:00 pm.

It was 4:00 pm.

They waited.

5:00 pm.

6:00pm.

6:30pm.

They waited.

A tear fell.

7:00 pm.

8:00pm.

9:00.

10:00.

They decided to take sleeping pills since they didn’t need to worry about the side effects.

It was the next day. They walked to their car after barely putting themself together, with them just wearing an old t-shirt, jogging pants, and some slacks. They plopped into the old car, at the same time feeling a sharp pain in their deep abdomen, reacting with a twitch of the eye. They were thinking through their whole life as they drove, their eyes soaking in the tears of the past and dead loved ones. The memories mixed with the pain was causing them to barely control the wheel and almost hit a semi. It might have not been accidental.

They arrived at the hospital. Setting their head on the wheel, they just prepared themself for the end. Eventually, they got out of their car and walked in. Metal scan. Checking in with the desk. Waiting. Waiting. Their name was called in for the surgery. They changed into their surgical gown. They then were brought into the operation room, set on the table, and knocked out with general anesthesia.

They were in a black void, seeing glimmers in the distance, with light particles aimlessly swirling around. Around them were different images flashing before them, different events through their life, like a projector flickering between different images. Different birthdays, different breaking of relationships, different firings. All of these were bringing back too many memories, it was overwhelming. They started hyperventilating. They were staring at the ground, eyes wide, until they saw the earliest memory they have, somewhat. They remember their parents talking about their birth, so internalized it and turned it into a memory. They walked into the memory and just stood, looking out at the unnaturally bright sun outside, with a perfect breeze. Their parents came in and asked them to come with them. They jumped down and talked walking over to their parents, now a child. Now I’m happy

As they were getting ready to attach a healthy intestine to the person, the heart rate monitor, started going flat. The surgical technicians started trying to get a ventilator, while, starting panic, the surgeon dropped the scalpel, starting to try chest compressions. After a few minutes, they stopped and, and even the ventilator, couldn’t bring them back. The surgery was deemed a surgical failure.