“I thought I could make it. I really thought I could make it.” I said with an undertone of shock. This…is unspeakable…what just happened? I was seconds away, I…I could have made it. The alien’s tail just…god…it just tore Clara in half. It was so long, and jagged, I-I could’ve done something. I could still hear it scampering away, as drops of blood fell through the ceiling. The drops felt like the few spots of rain before a storm.

“Where is she?” Joshua ran in. I couldn’t look at him. I could only stare at the pool of blood on the floor. “Jacob? Where is my girl?”

“I-I-I…” Tears streamed down my face. I could feel my face radiate with redness.

“WHERE IS MY CLARA?!” Joshua screamed at me. He turned me around, and saw the amount of blood on me. The alien spread it across my entire face and body. Joshua looked at me with sheer disgust in his face. Charlotte fell to the floor in sobs. Ophelia held her hands to her mouth. I was responsible for Clara. I was responsible for her. How could I let this happen?

“I-I th…thought,” I started.

“Not a damn word out of your mouth, boy.” Joshua threatened.

“I was right there-”

“NOT A DAMN WORD!” He spat. “YOU-GODDAMNIT!” It was nothing but rage pouring out of the man.
“We told you to keep her safe, and you…” Joshua started. Charlotte’s cries echoed throughout the room.
“I thought I could…could get to you in time. I didn’t…” I was responsible. It won’t get out of my head. I was responsible. Me. It was me who was looking after her. Oh my god, it’s just like last time.

The memories flooded in. God, it was awful. I was a horrible father. I didn’t know what to do. I could have done something, I could have made it. It’s all my fault. Why was I such a coward then? I should have stayed with her, my Clara. Carolyn shouldn’t have taken all of that by herself. SHE’S DYING, JAKE! That wasn’t fair to her. (Flip), that building. Those doors. Those endless halls. God, the nightmare just won’t end. I’M ALMOST THERE, HANG ON! Clara, MY Clara, she was so helpless. GET OUT OF MY HEAD! The doctors said she didn’t have long. (Flip) I can hear the beeps of her heart monitor. Why is it so loud? I could have helped. I could’ve made it. The beeps are getting faster. NO, CLARA! God, why-why did she pull the plug. I could’ve helped her. MY BABY GIRL! CLARA, SPEAK TO ME! Why, why did I go away? I COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING!
“You are truly unbelievable, you know that?” Joshua said. He paced around the room, hands on his hip and one on his mouth.

“I’m sorry, Clara.” I said under my breath.

“What was that? Say that again?” Joshua looked at me, with enraged blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, Clara.” I said again. Joshua slammed me against the wall, grabbing my shirt collar with both hands.

“YOU LET HER DIE! YOU LET OUR BABY GIRL DIE!”

“I know…” Joshua punched me across the face. Ophelia and Charlotte looked at us both.

“YOU ARE DIABOLICAL! LETTING OUR GIRL DIE!”

“STOP, I KNOW!” I pleaded. I could see my Clara. She was looking at me so disappointed. I never meant to turn my back to her.

“YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS MEANS!”

“BACK OFF, STOP!” I pushed Joshua back, and fell to the floor, sobbing.

“YOU HAVE NO CLUE, NO CLUE AT ALL, WHAT LOSING A KID MEANS, THAT DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO KILL OFF ANOTHER!”

“YES I DO! I WAS THERE…” Joshua punched me again.

“YOU HAVE NO CLUE YOU (flipping) LIAR!” Joshua spat again.

“MY KID DIED FROM CANCER, YOU (butt)HOLE!” Joshua looked at me, breathing heavily. I sobbed. God, I don’t want to remember those days.

“You had a kid?” Charlotte asked, softly. I cried. I didn’t want to answer. But it was just my sobs that filled the room with noise.

“Yeah, heart cancer.” I sniffled, and more just weeped at this moment.

There was no movement in the room. Not even a single pin dropped. God, why did it have to be now, after everything, after keeping Clara safe so many times, now I (flipping) lose it again? I am going completely insane. If it weren’t for the (flipping) PTSD, I could have made it. Both times. Clara, and my Clara, could have both been saved.

Or maybe it’s for the better. Maybe, it was an act of mercy. My Clara wouldn’t have wanted to be in the world that it is now. Maybe, their Clara, Joshua and Charlotte’s kid, maybe she didn’t want to be in this world either. Did I do the right thing? Letting her die? No, well…dear god I AM GOING (flipping) CRAZY! I CAN’T TAKE THIS (poop) ANY MORE! I WANT TO SEE MY WIFE AND KID! (flip) THIS WORLD! (flip) THESE (flipping) ALIENS! I WANT TO BE (flipping) DONE!

“You selfish (cookie), always about you, isn’t it?” Joshua taunted. I looked at him, and I was already too (flipping) mad. Now he’s adding gas to the house fire.

“You decided to help me off the ground back in Carolina, (butt)hole. You could have left me there to die. That’s on you, (bench).” I said, putting my head in my arms.