I thought I could make it. I really thought I could make it. The ball rolled leisurely around the rim. It couldn’t seem to decide whether to swish and make my dreams come true or roll out and send me back home on a one way ticket. The ball continued as if it was mocking me. The anticipation and fear continued; nobody in the arena could tell. The silence in the crowd was deafening. Would the shot fall or would the North Dakota State Bison go home? The ball rolled one last time, sitting on the rim like a king on his throne, for what felt like an eternity. In the longest 2 seconds of my life, the ball slipped off the left side of the rim and slammed on the court. The bounce felt like a gunshot in the chest. As the final buzzer sounded I couldn’t move, everything sounded quiet and distant. I felt a force jolting me coming from my left shoulder. As well as a distant sound saying, “Bro you good?” It snapped me out of whatever trance I was in. When I turned to my left I saw Alan. He was the team’s center and my best friend. Out of everyone he knew how important this game was to me.

Ever since I was a baby I can remember trying to dribble a ball. I instantly fell in love with basketball. Everything to me seemed perfect. The swish the net made after a shot, the wind running through your hair as you ran up the court, and most of all the feeling of winning. My only dream was to go to the NBA. It was all I thought about. Every morning the sun still was sleeping wrapped beneath its warm blankets while I was dribbling in my garage. After all the hours I put in I couldn’t believe what just happened.

This was my final year of college basketball. I needed to win that game. That was my chance to compete in March Madness. My only chance. Without that I never would get scouted. My dreams were dead. All I could do was wallow in self pity, feeling helpless.

We shook hands and headed back to the locker room. In the locker room I sat, towel hanging over my sweat covered head. All I could hear was the coach talking about the future of this team. “We have a lot of young guys on this team with a lot of potential. Next year we’ll make a run in the tournament for sure.” To me none of this mattered. Why should I care how the team does after I’m gone. I was frustrated with the team but most of all myself. After all, I was the one to take the final shot. I was the only one who could be blamed for the loss.

The bus ride back to campus was a long one. Some people chatted amongst themselves while others slept. Neither seemed like a possibility to me. I didn’t want to talk to anyone and I certainly wouldn’t allow myself the mercy of sleeping.

After what seemed to be an eternity I arrived back at campus and went straight to my dorm. I was done with this team and frankly wanted to be done with basketball as well. In my dorm I only had the energy to lay in bed. Alan walked in and could tell something was wrong. I was pouting like a little kid and he called me out for it. “Hey bro I know missing that shot was tough but you can’t blame the whole game on one play. 100 different things could have happened to make that game different.” I basically complained about how I lost us the game and placed the blame fully on myself. Finally I told him that spelled the end of my basketball journey.

Alan replied, “ It only has to be the end if you want it to be. So what if you didn’t get scouted there are other routes to the pros. If you want it truly you can’t give up after a setback, even one like this. If you truly want to play in the NBA this won’t be the end for you.” Alan left to go grab some food and left me with a lot to think about. I still was upset and convinced myself basketball was a finished chapter in my story. While unpacking my bag I saw my jersey. This brought back all the memories with a rush, both good and bad. I remembered my first ever basket. The pure bliss that came with seeing the ball sink through the rim and swoosh through the net. I also remembered back in 7th grade losing the championship. The feeling of heartbreak I never experienced before. Throughout my career in basketball I had battled adversity; it was in the nature of the sport. Why did this have to be the first hurdle I couldn’t overcome?

With this in mind I opened my laptop and began doing some research. Interestingly enough the Iowa wolves were having an open tryout. This was a G-league team that gave me an opportunity. If I wanted to, I still had a path to the NBA even though it was going to be difficult. Just because I went to this tryout I had no guarantee. Countless guys were in my position. With a sigh I looked back into my bag and realized I had a lot of work ahead of me.