“I was ghosting you last night because I was with someone else.”
Jared felt his heart sink into the concrete floor. “Who?”
Julianne sighed, and her white hands wrapped around the cup of coffee in front of her. She sent her gaze somewhere upward. “Ricardo.”
“Ricardo?”
“You know Ricardo.”
“I’m not sure I do.”
“He’s my sleep paralysis demon.”
“Oh…” Jared’s voice trailed off, souring the air over the table. “Him.”
“Jared.”
“No, that’s fine. That’s perfectly fine. I- I shouldn’t be surprised.”
“We’re just friends, Jared.”
He shrugged dismissively. “Yeah, I know.”
Sure they were.
“Before you get yourself all wound up, let me explain,” Julianne said, “why I wasn’t able to make it to the movies with you. You see, Ricardo’s dog, Mitzy, died last night. Little schnauzer. Sixteen years old. Gone just like that.”
“His dog died.”
“Yes, Mitzy died. And as you can imagine, Ricardo was a total wreck. He showed up at my apartment just ten minutes before I was going to leave and meet you at the theater. But the state he was in! I couldn’t leave him like that. The timing was really inconvenient, I know. But I couldn’t leave him like that. I mean, it’s not his fault that his dog died on our date night.”
“Right. I still don’t get why you couldn’t have contacted me and tipped me off about the situation, though. It would have saved me the trouble of driving all the way out to the cinema.” It also would have saved Jared the trouble of getting stood up. “Maybe I could have gotten a refund on the tickets.”
“Oh, Jared, you know how much I wanted to see that ten o’clock screening of Eraserhead. What crappy timing for Mitzy to go… I wanted to call and let you know that I wasn’t going to be able to make it, but Ricardo doesn’t like phones. It’s one of his quirks. He was in such a bad place that I didn’t want to upset him even more by taking my phone out and calling you. You understand.”
“Of course I do,” Jared said, struggling to lift the deadpan out of his voice. He pushed his hair off his face. He had to occupy his hands with something.
Julianne smiled faintly. “Thank you.”
It smelled like coffee grinds and dirty dishrags. The hum of the radiator filled in the silence between Jared, Julianne, and the empty chairs. Jared, Julianne, and the empty chairs.
“I just need you to believe me when I say that nothing happened between us last night,” she went on, “nothing has ever happened between me and Ricardo. Our relationship… Our friendship is completely innocent. We have boundaries. We try to keep things professional.”
Ricardo crying to Julianne about his dead dog didn’t sound very professional to Jared. “Yeah. I know.”
“He has a job to do. For me.”
“Right.”
“That job doesn’t overlap with my waking life. Sometimes, he does, though. Ricardo does. At the end of the day, he’s human. Well, he’s not human, but-”
“I get what you mean.”
“So, can we move past this?” Julianne asked. Her eyes were an olive branch.
Jared nodded. “Yeah, it’s okay. We don’t have to keep talking about it.”
“Great. I knew you would understand.”
He wanted to be mad at her, but he couldn’t be mad at those eyes. The tilt of her shoulders towards him. The perch of her elbows atop the table.
Julianne drummed her nails on the side of the cup. Long, red daggers, twisted inside of him. “How do you like the coffee here?”
“Oh, it’s alright,” Jared said.
“I think it’s kind of gritty.”
“A little gritty, maybe. It’s… It’s pretty good when you get it with the French vanilla, though. That’s what I got in mine.” He swished the remainder of it in his cup.
“Next time, I’ll try that.”
“You should.”
There was the sudden frantic ringing of a bell as the door swung open.
In walked who could only be Ricardo.
“Ricardo, what a coincidence!” Julianne exclaimed, her body swiveling away from Jared. “I was just talking about you!”
Ricardo grinned, bearing three sharp rows of teeth. “Only good things, I hope, Julie.”
She laughed a little too hard. “Oh, yes! Only good things.”
He was about a foot taller than Jared had envisioned him, and his hair was wild, tinted an obnoxious aqua blue. Cheap box dye from Walgreens, Jared surmised. He watched Ricardo order a steaming cup of black coffee and carry it over to their table.
Ricardo gestured towards an empty chair at the table. “Mind if I take a seat?”
Julianne shook her head. “Not at all. Sit, sit.”
Ricardo’s eight foot frame looked even more jarring squashed down to their level, struggling against the wrought iron of the chair. Having no issue making himself comfortable, he slightly opened his legs, and his knees jutted out awkwardly into Jared’s personal space.
“So this must be the famous Jared, huh?” Ricardo said. “Boy, have I been dying to meet you. If I could die! Which I can’t. Heh.”
Julianne put a palm to her forehead. “Oh right, you’ve never met before! Silly me. Ricardo, this is Jared. Jared, this is Ricardo.”
Ricardo extended his hand to Jared. A peace offering. “Pleased to meet you.”
“Same,” Jared said, gingerly accepting. Ricardo’s enthusiastic grip threatened to tear Jared’s arm off.
“How are you holding up?” Juliannne asked Ricardo, taking another contemplative sip of coffee.
“You talking to me or the chair?” Ricardo chuckled to himself. “I kid, I kid. Mitzy. Yeah.” He exhaled. “I’ve been okay. Just trying to take it one step at a time, you know? Grief’s a long and winding road.”
“I hear you,” Julianne said.
Ricardo folded his hands. “But enough about me. Jared! Tell me about yourself, little man.”
Little man. Jared blinked the words away. “Okay. I’m a software engineer, so-“
“Oh, cool.”
“Yeah.”
“That’s computers and stuff, right?”
“Sure.”
“You and me, Jared, we’re not so different.” Ricardo leaned back in his chair, testing it, testing him. “You play with computers professionally, I play with people’s heads professionally. I kid, I kid.”
“Oh my God, Ricardo,” Julianne said, giggling into her coffee. “Stop.”
“In your dreams, Julie,” he said, “Get it? Because I’m literally in your dreams.”
“Ha,” Jared said. He wanted to bludgeon Ricardo across the back of his skull with the napkin dispenser.
Unfortunately, managing to do that would be a logistical nightmare.
“I’m curious, Ricardo, what brings you downtown?” Julianne asked. “Got any big plans today?”
“I was actually on my way to see the three o’clock screening of Eraserhead. Thought I would grab a quick cup of coffee beforehand. Say… You want to come with me? I’m sure there’s plenty of tickets left.”
“Really?” Julianne said, “Jared and I were supposed to see it last night. So that’s perfect!”
“Perfect,” Ricardo agreed. “What do you say, Jared?”
Jared was silent.
“Well, Jared?” Julianne said.
“Uh… I don’t know,” Jared said.
She reached across the table and tugged on his sleeve affectionately. “Come on. It’ll be fun. You’ve been wanting to see it.”
“I just, I don’t know.”
“Come on, Jared,” Ricardo said, “you have nothing to lose. Popcorn’s on me.”
“I actually already saw Eraserhead,” Jared said, “Last night. By myself.” He did not. He had gone home and cried.
“Aw, really?” Julianne frowned.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“That’s too bad,” Ricardo said.
“You go on ahead without me, though,” Jared said, biting the inside of his cheek.
“Are you sure?” Julianne’s eyes drifted from Jared to Ricardo.
“It’s fine. Don’t worry about me. Go ahead.” Jared forced a smile. “I think you’ll really like it.”
Ricardo cleared his throat loudly. “Well, Julie, we better get going. Don’t want to be late for the movie.” He pushed to his feet.
“Are you sure you’re sure, Jared?” Julianne asked.
“Yeah. I’m sure,” Jared said.
She stood up and pulled on her coat, one arm at a time.
“Nice meeting you, little man,” Ricardo said, “See you on the flip side.”
Julianne’s hand brushed Jared’s shoulder as she walked by. “I’ll call you later, okay?” she told him in a low voice.
Julianne and Ricardo. Ricardo and Julianne.
The ringing of the bell saw them out.
Jared sank deeper into his chair, letting his bones turn to dust and his skin melt off.
If only he were dreaming.